"Everywhere I go, people wanna know. wonder where I been, what's the deal with him. Is y'all really cool, is he just a friend?" -Estelle, More than Friends
William. Where do I start? We've known each other since undergrad, but our friendship blossomed post-grad. In part because the Will to my Grace fell off a bit, so in a way he became the William to my Joan. I guess I had a void that needed to be filled. He was great, I could 'gossip' with him and we both were an ear to each others gripes and complaints. I always thought William was cute, but not in a serious way because I had a boyfriend from the time I met him through about a 2 years ago. Everything was great...until we hit that gray area. Let's just say that William consoled me when Big Dummy and I ended. Hey, I was vulnerable.
Things immediately got awkward between us. Luckily, we didn't live in the same city so this awkwardness was short-lived. I made a vow to not let it happen again...well, you can kind of assume that didn't hold too long. I mean when you're in between, a reliable source of vitamin D is good for the soul. When I moved to the A, I had to shut this down immediately for several reasons. a) Kryptonite was/is William's nemesis b) I was early in my dealings with RW and didn't want to 'screw up' c) I realized that I valued his friendship more than the Vitamin D. He has tried to tempt me several times, but somehow I've managed to hold on, be strong.
Fast forward several months. Things are smooth between me and William. I think he realizes that I'm involved with someone (he's seen the picture in my house and I've brought RW to events). Needless to say, he hasn't tried to conveniently spend the night, etc. He's even made sure I've gotten home when I was way too inebriated to drive and didn't try anything. We sometimes attend functions together and laugh at the ridiculousness that surrounds us, people make side comments but whatever- I'm cool with the status of our relationship.
Fast forward some more. In his drunkenness (sp?), he propositions me. Without going into the details, I deal with the situation. I feel slightly betrayed. I thought we agreed that we couldn't 'move' each other because WE couldn't handle it, so why???? Now I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated because I'm angry at the implications of him propositioning me. It's not entirely appropriate for me to be 'friends' with him if we can't be platonic. I know that I wouldn't want RW having chicks proposition him, but I know that I miss the times when I don't talk to William.
On top of him propositioning me, he shows up to an event with some homey chick and doesn't introduce her to anybody..I was bothered. I don't know this chick, you're bringing her in my territory and then you don't introduce her and she sits there looking stupid. WTF! I hope this isn't his chick for some many reasons, but I hope if she is, she told him about himself later..that was inappropriate. [It's not even that I care that he has other chicks. Honestly, it's not. In fact, my heart hurt for him a bit when his 'kryponite' got engaged recently. He didn't know that I was grieving for him or that I know this is his kryptonite, cause I just let it ride. I can only imagine how it would feel when my Krypto finally jumps the broom. (part sad, part relief)]
So him propositioning me+me being bothered by his choice of random chicks=we're fake friends. Ugh, the agony. So do I just cut him off? How?
Monday, November 24, 2008
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3 comments:
well...eventually you will have to cut him lose if you plan to continue your real relationship. it's nice to have friends (of the opposite sex) and all, but in the end, we all choose our spouse over them. because for the most part we all know platonic relationships dont exist. they exist in the sense that one person is not interested so the other settles for a frienship. so i wouldn't even really stress over it. have fun with him now (as a friend) laughing and joking, but you know the end is near. Also, what if he is really feeling this chick and doesnt know how you'll feel about it, or want to discuss the ends and outs of his dating life with you, in hopes that yall could get it popping on a drunken night.
i agree w/ anonymous...platonic schmlatonic. things like this do exist and CAN remain kosher, but know that someone is dissatisfied..more than likely its the dude esp if he's wanged before. for dudes, its all about having the option. regardless of how foul/dirty/crooked/self-serving, there's something that's very ego boosting about knowing that you can still get it. usually liq will inspire one to push this agenda. it's the thrill of the chase.
Out of respect for your dude, knowing that willie may have ulterior motives at times, it might be best to create some distance (even though your intentions are good). grazing the line can be fun and entertaining, but crossing it is deadly and irretrievable. Respect RW's mind..
P.S Stop frontin. You know you're jealous because there's another chick. It's ok, that's the dude in you. Once yours, always yours. Grrrrrrrrrr...LOL.
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