He Got Kids....

No, not my boo...

**Spoiler Alert** For those of you who watch CW's The Game, proceed with caution. This post may contain spoilers to the finale episode.**

Most of the episode was focused on the marriage between Derwin and Melanie. They had planned to get married the spring after the birth of his son by another woman who he'd knocked up while he and Melanie were apart, but Melanie decided she wanted to be 'first' at something. She didn't want anything else coming between them to prevent them from having their already jaded happily ever after. He'd robbed her of being the mother of his first born son and she was determined to marry him regardless of what happened. Although her friends got to fighting, her parents weren't going to participate- she didn't care, she loved him that much and wanted to be first. Needless to say, baby mama's water broke during the ceremony and Derwin had to leave before they could say 'i do'..but don't worry, they get married- after the baby is born inside the hospital's chapel without their friends and family to witness. Just them, their love and God.

I think I had the screw face this entire episode. I get that she wanted to be first..well, actually I don't. She had been having a problem with 'the situation' for quite some time, but all of a sudden it was ok with her? *side eye* Regardless of the fact if she's the first to take his last name, that baby will always come first. Hell, he left the ceremony to go witness the birth- this should be a peek into what the future will hold. It makes me realize that I can't. I can't be anybody's 2nd.

I've never dated anyone who has kids, nor do I want to (although I doubt most people say 'I want a man with kids'- but let me take that back, some people who don't want to have their own kids may desire this). I don't think I could handle coming 2nd to anybody (mother excluded), nor do I want the drama associated with it. Now my mom married my father, a divorcee with children, and I know firsthand that it wasn't a walk in the park. Granted, they are still together after 25+ years of marriage, but it wasn't all good all the time. I told myself that I would try hard to not put myself through the same drama of dealing with crazy ex-wives, etc. To sum it up, I'm just too selfish to put your baby by another woman's needs or your baby mama's needs before my own. I.JUST.CANT. Am I ok with being this selfish?...yep.

I recently had a convo with a friend who felt that at this point in our lives (27-28), it's unrealistic to date a man who doesn't have one of these strikes (divorced or got kids) against him. Maybe I'm an optimist, but I don't think I should set myself up for failure and immediately settle for a guy who comes along, overlooking the fact that he has 'drama', just because 'they will all' have kids or be divorced. I.JUST.CANT. I realize that things happen, but I'm not sure that I should sacrifice my sanity for your mistakes drama.

Am I wrong? Should I overlook the kids for the possibility of love? If the tables were turned, would a man be so quick to overlook?