I was talking to a friend yesterday and she was telling me she thinks she's finally having her quarter life. All of the thoughts she was having, (the uncertainties, the what ifs, etc) I definitely remember having at her age. (she's not yet 26) I told her it'd be ok, she'd make it through on top. As I was talking to her, I started to wonder...Is there something between the quarter-life and mid-life crisis? Is there such thing as a third life crisis? If not, I'm going to make it up, cause I swear it's real. A lot of things have been happening lately that just make me wonder. For example:
1. Went to DR with the boo. I had a great time. The hotel where we stayed was more like a bed and breakfast. It was owned by a couple that moved there from Spain. They got tired of working the 9 to 5 life and just up and moved. We talked to them a LOT about their thought process, how they did it, etc. We've always talked about how we could transition out of corporate and do something more meaningful (join Peace Corps) or less mundane (move to an island). Hearing about their story gave us hope that it is possible.
2. Also while in DR, I realized how much I love the culture and the language. A while back I had a goal of becoming fluent in Spanish and somehow it fell by the wayside. I was one class short of a minor in college and I used to be halfway decent, but if you don't use you lose it right? I did ok, but I realized how much I really want to get it together and really do it. I have a 'copy' of RosettaStone (thanks BLT), but need to use it.
3. Got a notification via Facebook for a 10 year high school reunion planning committee. This brought on one long sigh.....When I was coming out of high school, I really had a plan. I just knew that I would be married with at least one child by now, have a masters, etc. womp.womp. I have none of the above. I realize that I've had most of the control around these decisions, but now it makes me wonder what do I have to show for these 10 years. Yes, I graduated from college. Yes, I have a good job (such a blessing considering today's economy). I own a home. Yeah, yeah, big whoop. I'm not doing enough and that upsets me.
4. While my relationship is finally going smoothly (just a few bumps here and there), I'm starting to feel the pressure. Not from within, not from him, but from others about getting married. I ame back from DR to rumors at work that I'd gotten engaged. *blank stare* I was talking
on the phone to my mother earlier and she told me that they'd received an invitation for a wedding of one of my friends. Later in the conversation she asks me, 'so have you decided on a venue?' me: 'A venue for what?' her: 'Your wedding.' me: 'Uh, you realize I'm nowhere close to being engaged right?'. She laughs it off, but I think she was really having this conversation for real cause she starts mentioning some new place at home. What?!? I can't... I think she's starting to feel grandmother pressure, but I'm sorry mom, I can't deliver right now. I want to get married, I want children, but I can't make that happen overnight.
5. Work. As I mentioned, I'm glad that I have a job......but....I'm not feeling it. I had my annual review today and while I was pleased with the outcome, I'm bothered that I don't get a raise. Ok, I get a bonus, but it doesn't make me want to work harder you know. I don't like the 'I just get up for the check' feeling. Especially when you find out that the company isn't giving raises, so you don't even get to look forward to getting more money.
With all that being said, I feel like I need to make some changes. While some things are low hanging fruit (i'm such a consultant), others require a bit more thought. I'm confident that I can get it together though before I start to go crazy for real.
2 comments:
You've watched me go THROUGH it and I am finally breathing easy(ier). It can be done- I'm proof. God couldn't let both of us go through it at the same time. Who would hold whom up? Now I can turn my attention to help you like you did for me. :-) I'm here when you need me.
Girl, this post is so relatable. I think in the dictionary, the definition for "Life" should read: "A constant series of periodic crises." lol. I've definitely had my share of quarter life crises - they started right after undergrad, and I was looking forward to having them end at 30 - but I guess that won't happen huh? Darnit. I wish I had a magic answer for making these issues go away, but I'm slowly learning that a good portion of the grief can be cut by just accepting and loving your own situation -- meaning, trying not to compare it to what your friends have, or what family think you should have, etc. This takes a lot, especially when people are constantly giving you lip service about what you should be doing. Maybe you can write down a goals list, with approximate timeframes, and reasonable objectives for how you'd go about getting the goals accomplished. Take your time, and do one thing at a time.Sometimes we're too hard on ourselves.
A house and an undergraduate degree are great accomplishments! Celebrate your achievements and keep it moving girl!
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