What about Your Friends?

Cue the TLC...

At church last Sunday, Pastor began a series about The Top 5 indispensable relationships. He posed the question: who is your Jonathan? Or for us non-Bible scholars, who are your true friends. In I Samuel, the story of Jonathan and David is told. To paraphrase, Jonathan was King Saul's son and David's dear friend. He was supposed to be the heir to the throne but he knew that David was better suited for the position. He was willing to sacrifice his own life for his friend David. People often say that, but Jonathan was truly a ride or die friend, one that put his friend's needs before his own.

As Pastor is preaching, I begin to think about my Jonathan(s). BFFL instantly came to my mind, but I also began to wonder about all the people in my life who I thought were my true blue friends. You see, I've never had a problem making friends. My issue comes with keeping them. My mom used to always make fun of the way that people latched on to me. I had several occasions where chicks were 'fighting' for my friendship, for the right to call me their BFF. As I've gotten older and think about who I can call on in times of need, that list has gotten shorter. I think in part due to the fact that people grow apart, no love lost, you just go in different directions. Figuratively and Literally. Sometimes I think about what could I have done differently so that I'd still have some of these friendships.

One friendship in particular sticks out in my mind when I think about friends I've lost- Winnie. We're still friends, but definitely not as close as we were. Winnie and I met when I was a freshman. We were from the same area and knew many of the same people but had never met. She used to love to tell people the story of how we became friends. The week before classes started, all the freshman spent a lot of time outside trying to see and be seen. One day I was walking with my friend from home, Sunshine, headed to the Student Union. I was STARVING. When I'm hungry, my entire body language changes. I attribute it to my sugar getting low...lol. Anyway, Sunshine was taking her precious time talking to anyone who said hello. Meanwhile my stomach is knocking against my spine. I feel myself getting weak. Winnie is among the group that we'd stopped to talk to and she notices that I'm not right. She's like 'are you ok?'. I tell her I'm fine but I'm just hungry. So she's like 'let's go get you something to eat'. From that point, I'd knew we'd be friends forever.

Or so I thought...fast forward to our Senior year. We're roommates but barely speak. I don't exactly know why. I say 'exactly' because I knew that when I made line and she didn't, things were different. I admit that I didn't do a good job of trying to solve our problems. I figured that if she had issues with me, then she should come speak to me about it. Right? Wrong apparently because when we finally talked about our issues, she was also angry at the fact that I didn't try to figure out what's wrong. *Sigh* I've never done the girly girl thing too well. If you have a problem, let me know. I don't read minds.

I could get into details about the day it finally came to a head (my birthday nonetheless :( ), but that would make for an even longer post, so maybe one day. All I know is that I felt that Winnie let me down. I'd told her things I'd never told anyone before. (huge for me considering I'm a private person) We'd cried together over many things. When she found out that I was no longer 'pure', she cried. I cried too because she cried. We were close and she let something so trivial {something between Sororities and Cinnamon Toast Crunch}come between us. I didn't want to believe that we were only meant to be college friends.

I think I'm about to have a Joan moment when she finally breaks down about Toni. {If you've never watched the show Girlfriends, you may not understand that...sorry, google it.} Maybe I should call her up and let her know how I really feel. Considering that this happened a long time ago, maybe not. Regardless of how we end up, I'm thankful for the experiences that Winnie and I had. I will always have my memories. She will always be the girl who felt sorry for me and walked me to the Union to feed me before I passed out. And for that, I thank her.