Let IT Go

A few weeks ago, ABC featured a story on Nightline that questioned why were 42% of black women unmarried?  As I watched this story, I thought to myself: not THIS again.  I feel like every couple of years this statistic resurfaces, gets people all riled up, sparks discussions about the woes of black women and then it finally dies down, only to be brought right back up.  *Sigh*  Honestly, I tried to not feed into the hype by doing a post on this topic, but I've been reminded in some form or fashion of this statistic every other day on twitter.  It just kept calling me man....

Let's be real.  At the end of the day, calling attention to these statistics doesn't do anything but make the situation worse.  It's not like (black) men go on a mission to help the sistas to 'not become a statistic', but instead, view this as justification for their ability to play the field. With all the single sistas floating around, why have just one?  Many women who are already a bit too focused on having the title of 'wife' (not to be confused with wifey- big difference) become even more obsessed.  Single sistas begin to stress so much over the possibility of never marrying and becoming a part of 'the statistic', that they find ways to make themselves overly available often appearing desperate to the opposite sex.  Others who find themselves in committed relationships settle for those that may not be the pick of the litter but at least they have the parts in the right places.

I'm a firm believer that men can smell desperation and I haven't known too many women 'looking' for a man/husband who've actually 'caught' one, but I can only speak from experience.  I've been told that 'I always have a man'.  While this isn't 100% true, I can say with certainty that I've never been on the prowl.  I've never been the type to go clubbin' with hopes of landing a boo.  I'm not knocking those who do, it's just not me.  Flossie (my mom) told me to never chase a man and I definitely took that to heart.

On another note, although I believe in the happily ever after, with divorce rates being so high, why should anyone rush into marriage?  I'm certainly in no rush to get married for it to end two years later.  Why is it that some statistics are beaten into our skulls, but some are so often overlooked?  People can quote how many black women are still single, but don't have an idea about the impacts of cohabitation on divorce rates, with some studies putting the divorce rate for couples who cohabitate at about 85%.  I'm certainly not judging, but this statistic definitely deserves a raised brow at least.

Am I the only person that thinks that this discussion needs to be laid to rest?  Can someone start a petition to ban it from discussion ever again?