Family Matters

No really, it does.

I strongly feel that an individual's upbringing has a direct impact on their feelings about family and marriage. I'm not saying that I wouldn't date someone who came from a single parent home or a broken home (insert your own definition), but it would be hard for me. This is not to say that a person who comes from a two parent home will make a perfect mate, but I think that there are better odds.

Personally speaking, my 'real' relationships have been with people who came from solid homes. Coincidentally, my fly by night (not to be confused with one night stands) relationships were with guys that didn't come from a stable family. One particular person sticks out in my mind, Kwame. Kwame was born to parents that never got married. He'd tell you that his father was a rolling stone of sorts. I remember when we were getting to know each other, the topic of marriage came up. He was a few years older than me and I was curious to know how he felt about it. He told me that he had no intentions of getting married. All I could do was give him the blank stare. o_0. When asked, he didn't even have a reason except that he didn't see a need for it. I guess he figured, if his dad never put a ring on it, then why should he? Sigh. With people actually walking around with this logic, there's no wonder there are so many people with baby mama/daddy drama. No thanks...

When I started dating HR, it was so refreshing to be with someone who came from a similar background. He let me know upfront that he held marriage in high regard. It wasn't an immediate priority, but it was high on the list. We both came from two parent homes that had their share of ups and downs, but our parents made a way to stick through it. They weren't quick to give up as so many people are these days. Growing up in this atmosphere made me realize that love really is patient, kind, keeps no record of wrongs, etc.

So if a person doesn't grow up in this type of atmosphere, it will be that much more difficult for them to be in a loving relationship that can endure. Unfortunately, they don't have examples to live by. All they know is what they see on TV and hear on the radios unless they are blessed enough to have close family members that they can learn from. Where are the Huxtables when you need them?