Lovers and Friends

Unlike the title suggests this has nothing to do with the thin line that exists in platonic relationships. It is about the balancing act that sometimes has to occur when lovers and friends mix like oil and vinegar. The feeling of uneasiness that you experience when you try hard to not make it a big deal, but you are constantly reminded that the two may never quite blend. Then it hits you...Should you have to choose? I don't think one should have to. Right?

Unfortunately, not choosing is often harder than choosing. As my dad says, sometimes you are stuck between a pilar and a post. (That right there folks, is one of the million reasons I love my daddy- he can take a pretty common phrase and throw his own spin on it, a remix of sorts..loves that guy) Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who you think could be the one, but one of your dearest friends has something against him? Not fun, not fun at all. It becomes almost hurtful to not feel as if you can share in the joys of your relationship with someone that's close to you, especially when your lover is a significant part of your life. When you try to pretend as if everything's ok and share the important moments, like holidays that are spent together, it feels like a slap in the face when your friend pretty much pretends as if you didn't say anything or they tend to forget the details where your lover is concerned. Sometimes you feel as if your friend would take pleasure in the demise of your relationship. Especially when comments similar to 'we'll see how long this lasts' have been made. As a result, you tend to shut down or find other outlets, when deep down you yearn to be able to share the joys as well as the ups and downs with one of the people you care about the most. This results in added frustration from both parties. Not a good look, but what do you do?

Honestly, I try to overlook the seemingly minor details and tend to pick and choose my battles. Unfortunately, I tend to step on landmines without realizing I'm in a war. It shouldn't be this hard. The easy answer is: Let your friend know how you feel Toots...but I rather not deal with the drama (I'm not a confrontational person) although it needs to be done. In the past, I've been accused of not trying to resolve issues but I know that I should learn from my past and not make the same mistakes. I still find it hard to confront an issue when it's not me with the problem. I've lost one friend maybe I should say associate due to man drama and I have no desire to lose a real friend over foolishness.

Pray for me y'all, I'll need it. :)