I have a laundry list of things that irritate me about this guy, some of which may make it to his evaluation, others are things that just generally annoy the ish out of me and won't make it to paper. It will be a true test for me to continue to be able to ignore these things and not let it cloud my assessment of his performance. Honestly, I think I'm being 'mentally' hard on him because he looks like me. {I apologize in advance if you're reading this and you don't *smile*} Some may argue that in the age of Obama, we live in a country that's colorblind. I'm not 100% convinced, but I know we've made progress. Because I've always been around others that didn't look like me, (with the exception of college- primarily because I wanted to know what it was like to be around people like me) I think I've always been conscious of how 'we' are viewed. This awareness was forced upon me since I was constantly reminded of our differences. I've always had people from other cultures who felt comfortable enough to ask certain questions- I oblige because I want to encourage awareness so to speak...Maybe I'm a little too aware. Maybe some of these things that bother me, don't bother others.
Without going down a laudry list of things that annoy the crap out of me, I'll name a few:
- Appearance- Hmm, I know you want to be true to your sense of style and all and I'ma let you finish, but Rocawear is NOT the greatest label of all time. If I'm not being clear, I just don't think it's appropriate to wear pants that borderline fall off your bum, with belts that aren't at your natural waistline. Then he has the nerve to couple this with Rocawear type short-sleeved button down shirts that are plaid. I can't..I just can't do it.
- Too comfortable- Second day of knowing me, he tells me he's interested to see how I interact with the client, who's female...because "you know, women have a tendency to be catty..I've seen this with my girl". Sir, I don't know you from Adam, we just met, and I'm definitely NOT your chick. Furthermore, I'm not the chick that has issues with other chicks. Today, after a brown skin fella speaks to me at work, this fool talmbout "dark skinned guys must like you"...Maybe not a big deal, but we just met and would you say that to me if I didn't look like you?
- Fuels stereotypes- Must this dude on the first day start talking about his baby's mother. I understand that things happen, but once again...WE JUST MET. I don't need to know the ins and outs of your relationship with the live-in mother of your child. Also I'm not sure it's appropriate to discuss your struggles with getting a home loan with your boss and your boss' boss. Must you perpetuate the stereotype of blacks not having credit?
I'm probably going a little too hard on old boy, but apparently it's not just me who he has made a not so favorable impression on. I've already been encouraged to speak to him about a few things that have been identified as areas for improvement. Sometimes I think, why me Lord? But I realize that what don't kill me only makes me stronger. Hopefully I can be a positive influence on him...that's if he can get over the fact that he reports to me, which is another story for another day.
3 comments:
You're definitely in a position to influence him. Its clear that you have his attention b/c he pays you quite a bit. Leverage that to introduce him to new perspective...and also, remember to lead by example.
True. A part of me wishes I were a male so I can truly be an influence on him. I feel it would be easier. I think it's been hard for him to accept that I'm his boss. As you said, I will continue to try to lead by example.
Well since you are not male, provide a female perspective. Maybe he has never been around a woman of your caliber and needs some guidance. I agree with B. Staten, since you seem to have his attention, now is the time to show him the way in a professional sense.
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